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They were making a fine living,suryakant had come with his daughter pallavi.she was sixteen years old and she was very mild sort of girl.but there arrival made me smell a rat.that evening i joined them for drinks,i was almost the head for my family,dad usally supervises things in our granite buisness.i liked chidanand better as he was more gentleman kind ,where as surya was rugged country kind of guy ,but we dint have any problem getting along,there as we sat after the drinks sarted taking effect that i came to know the reason behind their arrival.surya is lusting his daughter,now that he knows whats happening in our family(dad and his brothers are very open with each other,so they dont hide anyting),he has decided to take her cherry and join in our family orgy,as for chidanand,he likes my Mom,dad had given permission as dad had an affair with chidanands wife,both knew this.we got down to dinner and retired for the day.next day all was planned to leave for our villa in our. Writing all the details out helped me gain a bit more perspective on our situation.It's obvious now that our honeymoon phase is over. We are not going to just live happily ever, as I foolishly believed before this trip. Things are more complicated with three of us, but I still believe the joy is richer for all that.I am not as nice a person as I thought I was. No matter how much pain I was in, nothing could justify my betrayal of their trust with Lydia. And even though I believed Lydia to be callous and selfish, I am still ashamed of my cruelty towards her at the end. I used her as much as she used me, but I should have ended it cleanly instead of leaving her screaming and alone.Jules once told me that I don't really know who I am. She said that who I choose to be my early lovers will influence the rest of my relationships. She was right about that. This trip has forced me to see that I am still defining who I will be. I never expected to find myself begging to be hurt, or the flush.
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